One year married! A tough but wonderful year!

What a whirlwind 2015 has been. Two countries, one visa and one visa application later. Now, here I am approaching my first year wedding anniversary. It hasn’t been an easy year by any stretch of the imagination but it has definitely provided a lot of important life lessons.

Meeting my husband who is a permanent resident of Canada was nothing out of the ordinary. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy asks girl to marry him and she says “Yes!”. Boy and Girl live happily ever after! If only! Our circumstances were a little different because I was not a resident of Canada. This meant we needed to decide where we were going to live. I was a UK citizen on a working holiday visa and I would soon have to leave Canada. We discussed the options and hastily made the decision we would apply for a UK spouse visa. The decision was influenced by the fact that it was a relatively easy and straightforward process. I also had family there who were willing to help us settle. We completed the application in December and I was delighted when my husband received his passport back in February with his UK visa

After a few months back in the UK; I was feeling miserable. On reflection, I think I was going through the process of reverse culture shock. I missed Canada and I missed our independence. We had decided we would stay with my mother temporarily until we found full-time employment. Yet, this was proving to be more difficult than expected. We felt the impact of the economic recession and we were feeling disillusioned as we realised our dreams were a distant reality.

Taking everything into consideration we made the decision to return to Canada. My husband e-mailed his former employer asking if he could have his job back. Luckily, they responded saying they would be happy to have him back. So, at the end of May my husband was on a flight back to Canada. He quickly found an apartment and re-established himself. I stayed with my father in Ireland collecting necessary documentation for the Canadian immigration process. I joined my husband at the end of June and submitted my application to be a permanent resident. Seems like a happy ending, right?

The immigration process in Canada is a lot more complicated. I am currently waiting to learn if Citizenship and Immigration Canada have received my application. The current waiting times for the Inland spousal sponsorship category is 17 months for first stage approval. The second stage is an estimated 10 months. This means I could be waiting a total of two years to learn whether my application is approved. Thankfully the government launched a pilot program offering spouses a work permit on acknowledgement of receipt. Therefore, I am hoping with every bone in my body that I have completed everything correctly and will receive a work permit. This would also give me access to Alberta health which is a huge thing for me as I am not currently covered on my existing visa. I feel we made the right decision coming back but it hasn’t been easy. We are now surviving on a single income and I am at home unable to work.  Yet we like the life here and think Canada will offer us the future we strive for. I’ve experienced moments of sheer desperation and loneliness. However, I’ve realised I have a lot to be thankful for. I have an extremely supportive husband who would do anything to make me happy. So as I approach my first year wedding anniversary this is a dedication to him. We’ve had a tough year and we’ve definitely been through the ringer. However, I love you more than ever. You are my inspiration to be a better person and I couldn’t imagine a life without you by my side.

For anyone else who is going through a tough time, my advice to you is focus on what you have in your life. There is always something to be grateful for no matter how small it is. Highs and lows are an inevitable part of life and bad times provide invaluable lessons. Nobody is immune to hardship or challenges, it is something we all must go through to realise what we want from life. So keep going, good things are coming. 🙂

Live truly and with purpose

Live truly and with purpose

All of us face challenges in life; it is a part of our human story. It is what builds our character and leads us to form our present choices. In some cultures these challenges are seen as an important transition from adolescences to adulthood.  In fact, they are perceived as blessings; valuable lessons that lead to a deeper understanding of the world around us. This is an empowering idea that enables individuals to dear greatly in the face of their worst fears. If challenges allow us to grow and become more enlightened individuals then surely we should go out into the world fearlessly seeking out our next great challenge. However, not all cultures celebrate challenges and opt for a sense of security and predictability. Some of us use “What if” as a comfort to ourselves and a justification for not really living. Even the most persuasive feelings for adventure and curiosity cannot convince us to leave the comfort of what is familiar and predictable.

Part of this can be attributed to the way we perceive the word “challenge”. In general challenges are regarded as something to fear. They push us out of our comfort zone into the uncharted territory of the unknown. We feel exposed and vulnerable. In the West vulnerability is something that is regarded as a weakness. This faulty perception only serves to segregate us from what it is to be truly human. To be alive is to be vulnerable. We can’t protect ourselves forever in our Ivory tours. Sooner or later we must step outside and face the ugly truth of our own vulnerability. Our vulnerability is what connects us. In moments of great adversity and suffering, it is not surprising to see how people come together in community spirit to support one another. It is our natural inclination to help our fellow man in his moment of need. We do not turn our nose down on him and say “why should I help you; your suffering is of no concern to me”. Instead we help him despite our own difficulties because we recognise his vulnerability as the face of our own. Therefore it is our greatest and most important duty to ourselves to take on the challenges we fear. Face your vulnerability and celebrate what is means to be alive and to be human.

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